






                STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION 
                              
                    "The Outrageous Okona" 
                          #40272-130 
                              
                          Premise by 
                  Les Menchen & Lance Dickson 
                              and 
                        David Landsberg 
                              
                          Teleplay by 
                         Burton Armus 
                              
                          Directed by 
                         Robert Becker 


THE WRITING CREDITS MAY NOT BE FINAL AND SHOULD NOT BE USED
FOR PUBLICITY OR ADVERTISING PURPOSES WITHOUT FIRST CHECKING
WITH THE TELEVISION LEGAL DEPARTMENT.

Copyright 1988 Paramount Pictures Corporation. All Rights
Reserved. This script is not for publication or
reproduction. No one is authorized to dispose of same. If
lost or destroyed, please notify the Script Department.


                         FINAL DRAFT
                    
                       OCTOBER 4, 1988

      STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - CAST 

                STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION 
                    "The Outrageous Okona" 

                             CAST                               
                              
                PICARD             THADIUN OKONA
                RIKER              THE COMIC
                DATA               DEBIN
                PULASKI            KUSHELL
                TROI               BENZAN
                GEORDI             YANAR
                WORF               
                WESLEY             
                GUINAN             
                TRANSPORTER CHIEF (B.G. ROBINSON)

                Non-Speaking       
                  CREWMEMBERS        
                  TWO SECURITY OFFICERS
                  AUDIENCE           

                Voice-Over         
                  COMPUTER VOICE     

      STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - SETS 

                STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION 
                    "The Outrageous Okona" 
                        
                             SETS 

            INTERIORS                  EXTERIORS
          
            USS ENTERPRISE             USS ENTERPRISE
              MAIN BRIDGE
              AFT STATIONS -           ERSTWHILE
                MISSION CONTROL PANEL
              TRANSPORTER ROOM         TWO OTHER SPACECRAFT
              TRANSPORTER PAD
              MAIN ENGINEERING
              JEFFERIES TUBE
              CORRIDOR
              TEN-FORWARD
              CORRIDOR -
                OUTSIDE HOLODECK
              HOLODECK (NIGHTCLUB)
              B.G. ROBINSON'S QUARTERS
              OBSERVATION LOUNGE
          
            DEBIN CRAFT
              MAIN BRIDGE

    STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - TEASER    1.

                STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION                  
                    "The Outrageous Okona" 
                        
                            TEASER                              

	FADE IN:

1    EXT. SPACE - THE ENTERPRISE (OPTICAL)

	as it moves through space at impulse speed

					PICARD (V.O.)
			Captain's log, Stardate 42502.7.
			We are traveling in the Omega
			Twelve System traversing between
			a clustering of small planets that
			form the coalition of Madena VI.

2    INT. MAIN BRIDGE

	We see the complement of people who normally make up
	the bridge crew. DATA and WESLEY at the front consoles
	controlling CONN and OPS. RIKER sits on one side of
	PICARD at the Command Area, the opposite seat empty,
	WORF stands near the Science Stations which are manned
	by n.d. crewmembers.

					PICARD (V.O.)
				(continuing)
			Each of these planets is populated
			by separate humanoid people who
			co-exist and trade technology and
			minerals under a precarious but
			successful treaty.

3    AFT STATIONS - MISSION CONTROL PANEL

	An ALERT SIGNAL FLASHES on the screen. The science
	crewmember looks up to Worf who steps to the panel,
	checks it and then announces.

					WORF
			We have an unidentified vessel
			approaching.

					RIKER
			Give me grid markers.

    STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - TEASER    2.

3    CONTINUED:

					WORF
			Sector three-nine-five-six,
			mark zero-nine-one.

	The personnel on the bridge show little emotion but
	you can sense a little stiffening of their posture,
	a glint of expectation in Worf's eyes. Picard sits
	coolly and observes his well-tuned crew handling the
	situation.

4    ANGLE ON SCIENCE SCREEN - INTERCUTS AS NEEDED

	Lines start to form the three dimensions blueprint of
	a space vehicle, at first very sparse and then filling
	quickly as more information runs through the computers
	and information bands run across the lower portion of
	the screen.

					DATA
			Sensor readings place overall
			dimension of vehicle an
			interplanetary cargo ship.

					WORF
			One life sign on board, appears
			to be humanoid.

	In the b.g. we see TROI exit the turbolift and take
	her place quietly beside Picard.

					DATA
			A vessel of that size usually
			maintains a crew of six.

					WORF
			Minimum armament present.

					DATA
			Sensors show cargo holds are
			empty.

					WORF
			The course is inconsistent with
			normal cargo routes.

					RIKER
			This could be a primitive method
			to elude detection.

    STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - TEASER    3.

5    SCIENCE SCREEN

	The three-dimensional schematic slowly revolves around
	the screen showing all angles of the unidentified
	craft. An alert RED DOT BLINKS on the interior of part
	of the live blueprint and a band of continuing detail
	specifications rolls across the lower portion of the
	screen.

					DATA
			Readout shows a burnout in
			inertial guidance system...

					RIKER
			The pilot is attempting to hold
			his vessel in check manually.

					WORF
			That could be a pretense.

6    ON PICARD

	He speaks calmly.

					PICARD
			Captain's log, supplemental. We
			have just encountered and
			identified an interplanetary cargo
			vessel which is apparently in need
			of emergency assistance. We will
			make every effort to do so.
				(beat)
			Open hailing frequencies.

					WORF
			Hailing frequencies open.

					PICARD
			This is the USS Enterprise.
			Captain Jean-Luc Picard, over.

	A pleasant male voice with the touch of laughter and
	humor in it comes over the speakers.

					OKONA'S COM VOICE
			And this is the cargo ship
			Erstwhile "limping" and "skidding"
			off course. Captain Okona at your
			service. As you see, there is
			no need for phasers, Captain.
			I'm harmless and not quite ready
			yet for mercy killing.

    STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - TEASER    4.

6    CONTINUED:

					PICARD
			You were never considered a danger
			to us, Captain Okona.

					OKONA'S COM VOICE
			It's a shame. I can remember when
			I was at least considered a
			"risk."

	There is a moment of silence, then the sound of Okona's
	laughter, which builds and becomes infectious. At
	first it puzzles the Enterprise crew, then the laughter
	catches hold and slight smiles begin to break the
	tension.

					WORF
			The ship is in viewer range now,
			Captain.

					PICARD
			Main Viewer on.

7    ON MAIN VIEWER (OPTICAL)

	We now see the image of the man, his face slightly
	turned from the screen and not clearly showing. His
	joviality continues, and although more subdued, seems
	to be just as contagious.

					OKONA
			I'm the owner and operator of this
			craft and since we both know you
			scanned my vessel, you know I'm
			alone and empty...
				(smile)
			... and it's truly a rare occasion
			for a man of my charm, beauty and
			talent.

	Okona mocks his own arrogance with his spontaneous
	laughter. His humorous jab at himself takes the bite
	off the remark.

8    CLOSER ON MAIN VIEWER - OKONA (OPTICAL)

	Turns his smile full face to the Main Viewer. He has
	the look of a hero, the twinkle in the steely blue eyes
	softening the rugged handsomeness of the man.

   
    STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - TEASER    5.

8    CONTINUED:

					OKONA
			But then with the condition of
			this vessel I'm glad I have no
			responsibilities except for myself
			till I can get some repairs.

9    INT. MAIN BRIDGE (OPTICAL)

	Picard turns to Troi.

					PICARD
			Counselor, can you read him?

					TROI
			His emotions suggest that he is
			mischievous, irreverent and
			somewhat brazen.
				(beat)
			And some other things...
				(unsure)
			The word that seems to describe
			him best is "rogue."

					DATA
			Rogue? Accessing "rogue."
				(kicks in)
			Cad, knave, rake, rascal,
			scoundrel, villain.

					TROI
			Yes, all of that, but he shows
			no malevolence, or ill will.

	Picard turns back to the viewscreen.

					PICARD
			What form of assistance can we
			offer you, Captain?

					OKONA
			I had a burnout on my guidance
			system. I'd appreciate it if I
			could use your facilities to
			repair it.

					WESLEY
			It would be possible.

					PICARD
			Estimate, Mister Data.

    STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - TEASER    6.

9    CONTINUED:

					DATA
			Time for repair would be seven
			hours sixteen minutes.

					RIKER
			Okona will have to shut down while
			we verify specifications.

	Picard holds a few beats, then issues his orders.

					PICARD
			Lieutenant Worf, prepare security
			procedures.
				(to Okona)
			We can accommodate you.

					WORF
			I'll allow him limited access.

					RIKER
			If you'll prepare to shut down
			your engines we'll lock on
			tractors and beam you aboard.

					OKONA
			Many thanks, Captain Picard.

					RIKER
			Transporter Chief, prepare to beam
			aboard from Tractor lock bearing.

	The well-modulated female voice of the TRANSPORTER
	CHIEF, B.G. ROBINSON, answers.

					B.G. ROBINSON'S COM VOICE
			Yes Number One, at your command.

					OKONA
			Is that a woman's voice I hear?

					PICARD
			Yes. Now please follow the
			directions of Commander Riker so
			our ship can get back to its
			normal routine.

	Riker smiles as he moves away. Picard notices.

					PICARD
				(continuing)
			Something funny, Commander Riker.

    STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - TEASER    7.

9    CONTINUED: (2)

					RIKER
			The unexpected, like what's
			happening now, IS our normal
			routine.

	Picard muses for a beat, a slight nod shows his
	agreement.

									FADE OUT.

                         END OF TEASER                          

    STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT ONE    8.

                            ACT ONE                             

	FADE IN:

10   EXT. SPACE - THE ENTERPRISE / THE ERSTWHILE (OPTICAL)

	As the Erstwhile creeps closer and closer to its
	docking berth, the vastness of the surrounding
	starfield framing it with brilliance as the two
	contrasting sized crafts seem to float closer and
	closer.

					RIKER (O.S.)
			Hold it steady, Wesley. We're
			ready to link up. On my
			command...

					WESLEY (O.S.)
			Aye Number One.

	The Erstwhile reaches the proper point of contact.

					RIKER (O.S.)
			Easy... easy...
				(beat)
			Engage. Shut down engines,
			Captain Okona.

	A laser-like RED BEAM shoots from the Enterprise and
	locks into the nose of the Erstwhile and holds it there
	in a stationary position. The Erstwhile shuts down.

11   INT. MAIN BRIDGE

	With the same crew intact except for Worf. Riker is
	in his command position. He rises from his position.

					RIKER
			Transporter Room proceed with
			Beaming Operation. I'm on my way.

					B.G. ROBINSON'S COM VOICE
			Yes, Commander.

	Riker, Wesley and Data move to the turbolift and enter.
	The door slides shut behind them.

    STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT ONE    9.

12   INT. TRANSPORTER ROOM

	Worf and TWO SECURITY MEN bracket the very feminine
	and graciously endowed Transporter Commander B.G.
	Robinson. Everything she has two of are perfectly
	matched, coordinated, and move with a wonderful grace
	that is called "woman." B.G. goes through the
	procedures of the transfer in her usual professional
	manner.

13   TRANSPORTER PAD (OPTICAL)

	The heroic visage of Okona MATERIALIZES and smiles down
	at the Group assembled. He is dressed in a
	loose-fitting, open-necked blouse, wide belt and casual
	looking pants, his look is in opposition to the
	well-tailored Enterprise crewmembers. His sidearms
	are also less sophisticated and are tucked into his
	waistband. The malfunctioning guidance mechanism
	swings nonchalantly from the burnt-out wires in his
	grasp. Riker nods to Worf who steps forward.

					WORF
			Your weapons, please.

14   CLOSER ANGLE

	Okona and Worf study each other openly, that brief
	moment of tension when two strong men measure each
	other. Okona, still with a trace of a smile on his
	face, diminishes some of the apprehension and gives
	in to Worf's stature without surrendering..

					OKONA
			You're the tough one on this ship.
			The muscle man.

					WORF
			Security.

					OKONA
			That's the usual name for warriors
			nowadays.

	Okona unclips a belt and hands over all his weapons...
	Worf still stands there... Okona's smile broadens and
	he reaches behind his back and slips out a long heavy
	knife. He hands that to Worf, hilt first.

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT ONE   10.

14   CONTINUED:

					OKONA
				(continuing)
			It's more of a piece of jewelry
			than a weapon. A remembrance.

	Worf accepts the excuse and the knife calmly, admires
	its weight, balance, and sharpness.

					WORF
			It will be returned when you
			leave.

	Riker steps forward away from Data and Wesley, extends
	his hand. Geordi is also in the room.

					RIKER
			Welcome aboard, Captain Okona.
			I'm Commander Riker.
				(shakes hands)
			If you turn over the inoperative
			part to Lieutenant La Forge he'll
			begin repairs.

					OKONA
			I'd be most happy to do the work
			myself, I'm sort of a "hands on"
			type...

					WORF
			That will not be permitted.

					OKONA
			Can I at least watch? Maybe offer
			some suggestions?

					RIKER
			I think that could be arranged...

	Geordi moves closer to Riker to accept the broken part.
	Okona, with a twinkle in his eye, reaches around him
	and hands it to a rather shocked Wesley.

					OKONA
			Here you are, Lieutenant. I leave
			it in your capable hands.

					WESLEY
				(reacts)
			No, this is Lieutenant La Forge,
			I'm only an ensign.

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT ONE   11.

14   CONTINUED: (2)

					OKONA
			Well ensigns have names, don't
			they?

					WESLEY
			Wesley... Wesley Crusher..

					OKONA
				(enjoying himself)
			Nice to meet you Ensign "Wesley
			Wesley" Crusher.

	Accepts, Wesley smiles and shakes his hand. Geordi
	nods his greeting to Okona, takes the damaged part from
	Wesley; but before he can say anything, Okona has moved
	across the room to face B.G. Robinson.

15   FEATURING OKONA AND B.G.

	Okona stands directly in front of her, leans forward
	and blocks her view of anything but him. He looks her
	directly in the eyes, gets her full attention, then
	slowly and with great gentleness takes a few wayward
	strands of her hair and tucks it back behind her ear
	as he speaks softly to her.

					OKONA
			And thank you for beaming me here
			and inviting me to see a truly
			beautiful woman.
				(touches her chin)
			You have the majestic carriage
			and loveliness that could surely
			be traced back to the noble
			families who once ruled romantic
			lands with benevolent and tender
			hands.

	B.G. smiles openly and knowingly, but plays along...
	and Okona develops a hurt look. His eyes continue to
	show his humor.

					B.G. ROBINSON
			I'm sure you said that to many
			ladies and it was no more true
			then, than it is now.

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT ONE   12.

15   CONTINUED:

					OKONA
			Of course,
				(beat)
			But it's how I say it that's most
			important. The feeling, the
			warmth, the attraction I have for
			you,
				(soft beat)
			the attraction that we share.

	B.G. stares at him for a few beats, then throws back
	her head and laughs at his absolute but charming
	brashness.

					B.G. ROBINSON
			I haven't heard that approach in
			years... it is refreshing...

	Okona laughs with her. He knows he's got her now.

16   ANGLES ON RIKER, DATA, WORF AND GEORDI

	As they watch Okona whispering to B.G., Riker is
	appreciating the showmanship and charisma of Okona.
	Geordi, glancing over at the transporter station from
	time to time and recognizing the situation. Data
	merely observes all without any reactions. Riker
	comments:

					RIKER
			Mister Okona seems to have excellent
			vision and a healthy libido.

					WORF
			Which could add to the security
			problem. I'll supervise him
			closely.

					GEORDI
				(aware)
			I'm sure you will, Worf.

	Riker turns away to cover his smile, tells Okona:

					RIKER
			If you'll follow Lieutenant La
			Forge, we'll get right to work.

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT ONE   13.

17   SCENE

	Okona reluctantly breaks away from the beautiful B.G.
	with a laugh and a squeeze of her hand. As he passes
	Data's inquiring eyes, he comments playfully.

					OKONA
			Now isn't that a beautifully
			formed picture of sex appeal?

	Data glances from B.G. to Okona with a somewhat puzzled
	expression.

					DATA
			I do not know what you mean.
				(beat; then explains)
			I am an android.

18   CLOSER ANGLE - WALK AND TALK

	For the first time Okona is quiet, but then he quickly
	recovers with a smile and his usual glibness.

					OKONA
			Well then... Have you seen any
			great looking computers lately?

	Riker, Wesley, Worf, and Geordi break up. Data stares
	from one to the other with a blank look on his face.
	Okona eyes Data.

					OKONA
				(continuing)
			That's a joke.
				(beat)
			It's funny.

					DATA
				(still oblivious, but
				 covering)
			Yes, of course it is.

	They continue to walk down the corridor, the look on
	Data's face showing his insecurity.

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT ONE   14.

19   INT. MAIN ENGINEERING - JEFFERIES TUBE

	Geordi and Okona handle the damaged mechanism while
	Wesley works on something in the lower platform of the
	tube. Wesley can see and hear the conversation. Okona
	is quite knowledgeable in this field although limited
	to his particular spacecraft. Geordi is more
	interested in how he can improve the navigation tool.

					GEORDI
			It's the Zelebium contacts that
			wore down and then fused. Why
			not replace them with Tricellite?

					OKONA
			Tricellite isn't available in this
			system. It wouldn't be available
			to me if I have to replace it.

					GEORDI
			I don't think your spacecraft will
			outlast the part.

	Okona glances at Geordi with the usual twinkle in his
	eye and the trace of a smile on his face that is always
	ready to broaden.

					OKONA
				(smiles)
			You mean the age of it or the way
			I fly it?

					GEORDI
			The stress test shows that you
			tend to push it beyond its
			designed capabilities.

					OKONA
			Lieutenant La Forge, I've never
			been told that I'm somewhat
			reckless in a kinder, or more
			gentlemanly manner; but since the
			pattern of my life has relegated
			me to interplanetary speed
			deliveries rather than universal
			exploration, I'm forced to add a
			flamboyancy and a zest to the
			doldrums of my existence.

	Geordi laughs.

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT ONE   15.

20   ANGLE DOWN THE TUBE - TO INCLUDE ALL

	Wesley looks up at Okona with some admiration.

					WESLEY
			Captain Okona, I don't know
			whether I'd rather take a flight
			with you or listen to you talk.

	Okona roars.

					OKONA
			Thank you Ensign Crusher, Crusher.

					WESLEY
				(getting into it)
			It's Wesley, Wesley.

					OKONA
			I'll make it easy on both of us.
			I'll just call you Tiger.

21   NEW ANGLE

	Data has entered Engineering in time to hear the end
	of the conversation.

					DATA
			Captain Picard is not fond of
			nicknames.

					OKONA
			Your gallant Captain Picard. I'd
			like to meet him... I'll stroll
			on the bridge and say hello.

					DATA
			You are not permitted on the
			bridge. You are restricted to
			your quarters or the Ten-Forward
			lounge unless escorted by a
			crewmember.

					OKONA
				(shrugs)
			I've broken some small rules
			before.

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT ONE   16.

21   CONTINUED:

					GEORDI
			You do and besides the bells and
			lights that will go off, our
			benevolent and kindly Lieutenant
			Worf will offer you a new kind
			of greeting.

					OKONA
			Well then, would you escort me
			to C deck?

	Geordi studies Okona for a beat, then nods his
	approval.

					GEORDI
			I'm busy rebuilding your ship.

	Wesley ducks down the Jefferies Tube. Okona glances
	over to Data, smiles his best.

					OKONA
			Then Mister Data sir, I would feel
			privileged if you allow me to be
			in your company while you escort
			me to my destination...

	Geordi laughs... Data nods. Okona nods, looks a little
	speculative.

22   INT. CORRIDOR

	Okona and the stolid Data walk down the hallway with
	Data slightly in the lead. Okona keeps peeking at Data
	but takes a beat or two before he speaks. Then he
	finally does.

					OKONA
			You ever been cold?

					DATA
			No.

					OKONA
			How about warm?

					DATA
			The temperature on this vessel
			is regulated to within a fraction
			of a degree of the perfect comfort
			range. I am also able to react
			to any changes just as a humanoid.

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT ONE   17.

22   CONTINUED:

	They continue their silent walk.

					OKONA
			How about drunk? Ever do that?

					DATA
			That is not possible. One moment.

	Data stops dead in his tracks and runs through his
	program. Only his eyes show a sort of blinking symbol
	as he checks out his circuits for the answer.

					DATA
				(continuing)
			I was correct. I am not designed
			to react to any synthenol intake
			but apparently it is possible for
			me to become intoxicated.

					OKONA
			I don't understand that at all.

					DATA
			It seems that I have been adapting
			some human peculiarities over the
			last three tours of duty.

					OKONA
			What about love?

					DATA
			The act or the emotion?

					OKONA
			They're both the same to me.

					DATA
			I believe that deduction to be
			inaccurate.

					OKONA
			Maybe.

	A sudden sadness comes to his eyes, then is quickly
	replaced as he takes Data by the arm and continues his
	walk down the corridor in feigned seriousness.

					OKONA
				(continuing)
			Life is like loading twice your
			cargo weight on your spacecraft...
			if it's canaries and you can keep
			half of them flying all the time,
			you're all right.

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT ONE   18.

23   ON DATA

	He stares at Okona with a blank look ignoring the
	laughter that follows. Okona slowly subsides and
	stares back at Data.

					OKONA
			Don't you get it?

					DATA
			Get what?

					OKONA
			The punch line... The gag... That
			was a joke I told you.

					DATA
			I still do not understand.

					OKONA
			You don't know what a joke is?

					DATA
			Of course I do.
				(as he computes)
			A joke is an antic, a caper,
			mischief, prank, trick, quip,
			witticism.

					OKONA
				(overlapping)
			That's the dictionary meaning.
			I'm talking about humor, fun.
				(beat)
			Do you know what "funny" is?

	Data gives him a bewildered look. Okona gives up,
	points to one of the doors.

					OKONA
			Is that C-nine-two-nine?

					DATA
			The room to the left. Why?

	Okona smiles, shrugs..

					OKONA
			You probably wouldn't understand
			that either...

	Okona presses the entry button on the specific door.
	It slides open to disclose:

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT ONE   19.

24   CLOSER ANGLE

	The attractive and very sensuous B.G. Robinson who has
	obviously been expecting his arrival. She returns
	Okona's smile and steps away from the door to allow
	him in. The door slides shut behind him.

25   ON DATA

	His totally confused expression.

									FADE OUT.

                        END OF ACT ONE                          

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT TWO   20.

                            ACT TWO                             

	FADE IN:

26   EXT. SPACE - THE ENTERPRISE (OPTICAL)

	against the background of serenity and stars.

27   INT. MAIN ENGINEERING

	Riker looks over the shoulder of Wesley and Geordi,
	and they check and test the contacts of the
	malfunctioning Okona apparatus.

					RIKER
			What's the status of the repair?

					GEORDI
			On schedule. The difficulty is
			Okona has to be able to repair
			this part himself next time.

					WESLEY
			Commander, do you know much about
			him?

					RIKER
			Just that he's an interesting man.

					WESLEY
			He's a lot more than that. He's
			a capable engineer.

					GEORDI
			In a practical sense he's
			excellent.

					WESLEY
			We've seen him handle his ship,
			and he certainly knows how to
			handle people.

					RIKER
			Everything you say is true.

					WESLEY
			Then why is he what he is?

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT TWO   21.

27   CONTINUED:

					RIKER
			Why is he operating a cargo route
			alone rather than being a member
			of a large organization like we
			are?

					WESLEY
			Yes, that's it.

					RIKER
			I would say because he chooses
			to do exactly what he does.

					WESLEY
			A cargo master?

					RIKER
				(mimics the tone)
			An ensign in Engineering?

	Wesley holds Riker's look, then smiles and nods his
	understanding. Riker softens a bit.

					RIKER
				(continuing)
			His choice. Someday you'll make
			yours.

					WESLEY
			I already have.

	Riker nods.

28   INT. TEN-FORWARD (OPTICAL)

	The stars in space zoom past the observation windows
	which span the front of the lounge. Some n.d.
	crewmembers are at the small tables at the bar. Data
	is in conversation with GUINAN who is quite patient
	but about to become brutally honest with him. It is
	obvious that the conversation has been going on for
	some time.

					GUINAN
			Okona is right.

					DATA
			You agree that I am missing a very
			important human factor.

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT TWO   22.

28   CONTINUED:

					GUINAN
			All I said was I agree with Okona
			that you never smile or laugh.
			At least I've never seen you do
			it.
				(beat)
			Do you? Ever?

					DATA
			I never knew I had to.

					GUINAN
			It's not a "had to." Even Captain
			Picard can't order you to be
			happy.

					DATA
			But I am not unhappy. I just do
			not seem to break out in laughter
			with everyone else when Okona says
			certain things.

					GUINAN
			You mean when he tells a joke.
				(understanding now)
			That's it, isn't it? You don't
			have any idea what a joke is.

					DATA
				(defensive)
			Of course I do.
				(his computer kicks in)
			It is a witticism, a gag, a bon
			mot, a fluctuation of words which
			concludes with "trick" ending,
			it is...

					GUINAN
				(overlapping)
			Whoa, slow down. Now Data,
			there's just you and me here and
			nobody is going to know what we
			talked about. My job here places
			me under some obligations, like
			a vow of secrecy. I can't repeat
			anything I hear or see. Now the
			obligation of the patron is to
			tell the truth, otherwise I'm
			being placed under a commitment
			to keep a secret about "nothing."
			That's not fair. It's called
			wasted honor. You understand?

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT TWO   23.

28   CONTINUED: (2)

					DATA
				(stolid beat)
			I understand better than you
			think. You just told me a joke
			and I am not laughing.

					GUINAN
				(disappointed)
			I can see that.

					DATA
			Maybe it was not funny.

					GUINAN
			It was funny.

					DATA
			How can you be sure?

					GUINAN
			I've used it before. Everybody
			else at least smiles. It's you,
			Data.

					DATA
			I agree. Now what do I do about
			it?

					GUINAN
			When most people have trouble,
			they look to a more intelligent
			and learned being for assistance.
				(thoughtful beat)
			In your case, I'd suggest you go
			to a bigger computer.

	That Data understands. He nods his acceptance, moves
	off.

29   INT. CORRIDOR - OUTSIDE HOLODECK

	Data is accessing the Holodeck panel. The panel lights
	array themselves and the VOICE of the Holodeck COMPUTER
	assists Data in locating his choices.

					DATA
			I wish to learn about jokes...

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT TWO   24.

29   CONTINUED:

					COMPUTER VOICE
			There are books, films, and tapes.
			But the only animate object would
			be a comedian.

					DATA
			Show me one of those.

					COMPUTER VOICE
			Specify type, please.

					DATA
			Humanoid. One who is able to
			understand and tell a joke.

					COMPUTER VOICE
			Physical or cerebral style.

					DATA
			Show me both.

					COMPUTER VOICE
			I will access a list.

	A LIST FLASHES ON THE SCREEN that only Data would be
	able to read. He answers unknowingly and randomly.

					DATA
			That one. RW nine, three, two,
			one, six -- twentieth century.

					COMPUTER VOICE
			Program installation complete,
			you may enter.

	Data steps in front of the door. It slides open.

30   ANGLE THROUGH DOORS

	The frozen IMAGE of a COMEDIAN popular today stands
	on a small stage in the center of a spotlight. Data
	enters.

31   INT. HOLODECK

	The image comes to life. The Comic takes a bow and
	announces.

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT TWO   25.

31   CONTINUED:

					THE COMIC
			Thank you ladies and gentlemen.
			And thank you for bringing me
			here.

					DATA
			I want to know what is funny.

	The Comic steps off the stage and takes a seat next
	to Data. He stares at the blank open expression on
	Data's face and realizes that he's in for it.

					THE COMIC
			Things that make you laugh are
			funny?

					DATA
			Nothing makes me laugh, but I
			still want to do it.

					THE COMIC
			How much time do we have?

					DATA
			Time has no meaning in this
			instance. It could be endless.

					THE COMIC
			I think we're going to need it
			all.

					DATA
			I assure you, I am completely
			trainable and capable of
			indoctrination. Show me what is
			funny.

					THE COMIC
			Okay, try this.

	The Comic distorts his face and posture, does a piece
	of "business," a comical imitation, using his clothes,
	motion, perhaps a prop. He glances over to Data, who
	stands motionless and passive.

					THE COMIC
			Well?

					DATA
			That is considered funny?

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT TWO   26.

31   CONTINUED: (2)

					THE COMIC
			It was till a few seconds ago.

					DATA
			You mean if you twist your face,
			bend over at the waist, mess up
			your hair, and cross your eyes
			it is a pretense that would be
			funny.

					THE COMIC
				(uncomfortable)
			I have to admit it's a little
			ridiculous, but that's part of
			being funny. Clowns are
			ridiculous, but they make people
			laugh. Now try it.

	Data makes a couple of vain efforts to twist himself
	and imitate the imitator. His attempts are clumsy,
	inept, and bring a troubled look to the Comic's face.

					THE COMIC
				(continuing)
			Can you juggle, whistle, sing?

	Data shakes his head.

					THE COMIC
				(continuing)
			How about write or paint? I have
			a house that needs painting. It's
			hard work, but at least you don't
			have to be funny. Just a strong
			wrist, a good eye, and an
			affection for watching water base
			off-white dry slowly.

	The Comic laughs at his own humor. Data's sterile look
	causes the Comic to grimace.

					DATA
			I can do everything else that I
			want to do. I just want to know
			what is funny. I want to be able
			to involve myself in other
			people's laughter.
				(quieter beat)
			I want to "join in."

	The Comic eyes Data, understanding and sympathizing
	with his dilemma.

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT TWO   27.

31   CONTINUED: (3)

					THE COMIC
			We'll try. You have to remember
			your "body English" and gestures.
				(beat)
			Now you're going to learn some
			jokes.

					DATA
			Proceed.

					THE COMIC
			We'll start with some standards...
			This traveling salesman...

					DATA
			Access faster...

32   ON THE COMIC (OPTICAL)

	As he goes through his routine of jokes, CAMERA SKIP
	FRAMES to:

					THE COMIC
			... comes up to his farmhouse
			and...

					DATA
			Faster. Move to maximum speed.

	We SPEED UP FRAMES until the Comic is MOVING AT EIGHT
	FRAMES PER and the DIALOGUE SOUNDS LIKE CHIPMUNK
	GIBBERISH. HOLD on this for a few beats.

33   ON DATA

	His eyes blinking in the information at the same
	speed... Then:

34   INT. TEN-FORWARD

	Data is facing Guinan. He speaks in his usual
	monotone.

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT TWO   28.

34   CONTINUED:

					DATA
			This gentleman went to see his
			surgeon and was informed that he
			needed an operation. The man
			thought about that and then said,
			"I would like a second opinion."
			The doctor said, "Okay, you are
			ugly too."

	Data immediately asks Guinan for her recognition.

					DATA
				(continuing)
			Was I funny?

					GUINAN
			That joke has been funny for over
			four hundred years.
				(sad beat)
			We'll now have a minute's silence
			for its passing.

					DATA
			I was not funny...

					GUINAN
			Forget it. Try another joke.

	Data sets himself in a predetermined position and
	starts.

					DATA
			Who was that woman I saw you with?

	Guinan flinches in expectation but is saved as the
	voice of Picard is heard over the loudspeakers.

					PICARD'S COM VOICE
				(filtered)
			Lieutenant Commander Data, report
			to the Main Bridge immediately.
			I repeat, report to the Main
			Bridge immediately.

	Data moves quickly to the turbolift. As he moves, he
	informs Guinan:

					DATA
			I will be back.

					GUINAN
				(hopeless)
			Bring new jokes...

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT TWO   29.

35   INT. MAIN BRIDGE

	There is a controlled urgency in the conduct of the
	bridge as Data enters from the turbolift and moves
	directly to his station in Ops. Wesley is already in
	place at Conn and whispers over to Data immediately:

					WESLEY
			We have an "unidentified" in
			Sector four.

	Data immediately focuses his attention on his necessary
	functions. All stations are covered. Riker and Troi
	bracket Picard. PULASKI will also appear on the bridge
	during this scene. Worf announces from his Tactical
	Station:

					WORF
			Unidentified craft Sector four
			to Sector four two six one.
			Overtaking us, no response to our
			hailing.

					PICARD
			Open hailing frequencies in all
			languages and on all channels.

					WORF
			Hailing frequencies open. No
			response.

					DATA
			Sensors report a minimum range
			combat craft of the Squadron
			Class, twenty-six crew.

					WORF
				(overlap)
			Captain, they have locked phasers.

					PICARD
				(somewhat puzzled)
			Phasers?

					RIKER
				(same look)
			Regulations call for a Yellow
			Alert.

					PICARD
			It's too small of a craft to be
			of any threat to us. Do you
			agree, Lieutenant Worf?

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT TWO   30.

35   CONTINUED:

					WORF
			We could blow it out of space
			before it could scratch our hull.

					PICARD
			And I doubt that they are so
			primitive that they wouldn't know
			it. Ensign Crusher, reduce speed
			to allow them to overtake.

					RIKER
			May I ask why, sir?

					PICARD
			They show a great deal of courage.
			Perhaps I would like to show them
			some respect, or perhaps I'm just
			curious.

					RIKER
			I understand, Captain. Would a
			"courteous" Yellow Alert apply
			at this time?

					PICARD
				(covers a smile)
			That won't be necessary, Number
			One. But continue to hail them
			and prepare for a gentlemanly
			surrender if needed.

	The reactions of the crew, especially the pained
	expression of Worf.

									FADE OUT.

                        END OF ACT TWO                          

  STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT THREE  31.

                           ACT THREE                            

	FADE IN:

36   EXT. SPACE - THE ENTERPRISE / THE ERSTWHILE (OPTICAL)

	Okona's ship in tow. Another spacecraft even smaller
	and more outdated than Okona's approaches. In scale it
	looks like a P.T. Boat pulling next to the USS
	Missouri.

37   INT. MAIN BRIDGE

	The business on the bridge continues in a relaxed, but
	expectant manner.

					WORF
			Still no response to our hail.

38   ON CREWMEMBERS

	A few beats, then Data informs them:

					DATA
			The "stranger" vessel has slowed
			and is holding its position.

					WORF
			Captain, we are being hailed.

					PICARD
			On screen.

39   ANGLE ON MAIN VIEWER - INTERCUT AS NEEDED (OPTICAL)

	There are a few tense beats, then the face of DEBIN
	slowly MATERIALIZES on the screen. He is a middle-aged
	humanoid (perhaps one distinguishing factor to
	designate him as different). We see a small passenger
	area, rather than a large bridge.

					DEBIN
			I am Debin of the planet Atlec.

					PICARD
			I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard of
			the USS Enterprise... What is
			the reason for this aggressive
			approach?

  STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT THREE  32.

39   CONTINUED:

					DEBIN
			You are towing a spacecraft of
			a known criminal.

					PICARD
			It was in need of emergency
			repairs. It was our obligation
			to assist.

					DEBIN
			You have a man by the name of
			Okona aboard.
				(harsher beat)
			I want him.

	There are some reactions through the main cabin.

					PICARD
			On what authority?

	Debin reacts to this with a tumultuous roar. He
	explodes his response.

					DEBIN
			He is guilty of crimes committed
			on the planet Atlec. I expect
			him to be turned over to my
			authority immediately.

					PICARD
			What crimes?

					DEBIN
			That is neither important or
			necessary. I want Okona now!

	Before Picard can respond.

					WESLEY
			Captain, we have another Class
			four armed spacecraft approaching,
			from the opposite sector...

					PICARD
			Another ship from Atlec?

					DATA
			Similar in specifications and
			capabilities, but a variation in
			markings and hailing language.

  STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT THREE  33.

39   CONTINUED: (2)

					PICARD
				(to Debin)
			Hold your position, Mister Debin.
				(to Data)
			Cut off Main Screen.

	The viewscreen goes blank.

					PICARD
				(continuing)
			Identify approaching craft.

					DATA
			Sensors indicate it to be a
			security vessel from the planet
			Straleb.

					WORF
			We could swat both mosquitoes
			easily.

	Picard gives him a quieting, yet understanding look.

					PICARD
			Open hailing frequencies.

					WORF
			Hailing frequencies open.

	Some beats, then:

					WORF
				(continuing)
			They are returning our hail on
			the proper channel.

					PICARD
			On screen.

40   MAIN VIEWER - INTERCUT AS NEEDED (OPTICAL)

	The screen fills with the picture of another ship's
	cockpit area, which is a much smaller variation of a
	bridge. Humanoid personnel pilot the craft. (There
	could be a characteristic that would also mark them as
	an individual race and also slightly different than the
	Atlec race.) KUSHELL, older and more forceful than his
	younger better-looking companion BENZAN, steps into
	focus..

  STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT THREE  34.

40   CONTINUED:

					KUSHELL
			I am Secretary Kushell from the
			Legation of Unity of the planet
			Straleb.

					PICARD
			I am Captain Picard.

					KUSHELL
				(overlapping)
			We know who you are, Captain
			Picard. We have been monitoring
			your communications and we know
			of the demands made by Debin of
			the planet Atlec.

					PICARD
			Then you know that we intend no
			hostile interaction with either
			of you.

					KUSHELL
			You only have to concede to one
			demand.

					PICARD
			The word "demand" has the tone
			of finality.

					KUSHELL
			It is a word I have chosen.
				(beat)
			We demand you turn Okona over to
			us immediately.

	Picard covers his reactions.

					PICARD
				(to Wesley)
			Mute the Main Viewer.
				(to Worf)
			Lieutenant Worf, Mister Okona to the
			Main Bridge immediately.

					WORF
			Yes sir.

					PICARD
			Engage the screen.
				(to Kushell)
			The same "demand" has been made
			by the Atlec legation.

  STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT THREE  35.

40   CONTINUED: (2)

					KUSHELL
			I have no interest in their
			request. We intend to back up our
			legal right to Okona.

					PICARD
				(knowing)
			I'd rather you didn't escalate
			this situation any further.

	Benzan tries to guide the older man away from the
	viewscreen. Kushell pulls away from his grasp.

					KUSHELL
			You're my son. You obey orders,
			you do not interfere with them.
				(to Picard, enraged)
			We are prepared to take Okona by
			force if we have to. The honor
			and prestige of this nation are
			at stake.
				(beat)
			We are ready to die for that.

					PICARD
			We do not intend for that to be
			at our hand. I will respond to
			your request shortly --
				(then:)
			Main Viewer off.

41   INT. CORRIDOR

	Worf and TWO SECURITY OFFICERS move through the
	corridor.

42   ANGLE ON DOOR

	It slides open to disclose a smiling Okona who is just
	buttoning up his shirt and preparing to exit. A
	well-endowed FEMALE CREWMEMBER (not B.G. Robinson) bids
	him an affectionate farewell. The kiss becomes
	extended and passion builds again, until interrupted by
	Worf.

					WORF
				(to Okona)
			I have orders to escort you to
			the Main Bridge immediately.

  STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT THREE  36.

42   CONTINUED:

					OKONA
			I'm sure it can wait a few
			minutes.

					WORF
			Now!!

43   CLOSER ANGLE

	Worf steps face to face with Okona and sets himself.
	Okona tightens and seems to coil just a bit in
	preparation. The two of them face in a stand-off
	understanding each other. Worf accepts the challenge
	and declines it at the same time.

					WORF
			I'd like that, but I have orders.

					OKONA
				(nods)
			Some other time then.

	The tension is ended. Worf motions to the security
	officers. They step on either side of Okona and leave
	him no choice but to step away from his embrace. He
	offers her a joking farewell as he is led away.

					OKONA
				(continuing)
			Just remember, it took three armed
			men to rip me from your arms.

44   INT. CORRIDOR - MOVING SHOT

	Okona keeps pace with Worf as they enter the turbolift.

					OKONA
			Am I going to meet Captain Picard?

	Worf eyes him a beat, then a grunting laugh.

					WORF
			Definitely.

					OKONA
			Did I say something funny?

	The doors slide shut.

  STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT THREE  37.

45   INT. MAIN BRIDGE

	The turbolift door opens and Okona is escorted towards
	the captain. Worf introduces.

					WORF
			Captain Picard, this is Thadiun
			Okona.

	Okona steps forward, extends his hand, and prepares
	himself for his normal overpowering greeting.

46   ON PICARD

	He swings around in his chair and holds Okona away with
	his hard-probing look. The rest of the room waits.
	Picard controls, points to the captain's Ready Room.

					PICARD
			In there... We'll talk in there...

	Picard gets up and leads the way. The doors slide open
	and they enter. The crew eyes each other.

47   INT. CAPTAIN'S READY ROOM

	Picard turns directly to Okona. His anger is apparent.

					PICARD
			Mister Okona, you were welcomed on
			board and given the security of
			this ship openly and without any
			undue investigation. In turn the
			only obligation we placed you
			under was that you do not come
			aboard the Enterprise under false
			pretenses. It seems that you did.

					OKONA
			If you mean my "socializing" with
			the members of the crew?

					PICARD
			No, you are free to interact with
			the members of the crew. First,
			I'm talking about a man named
			Debin. Are you familiar with him?

  STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT THREE  38.

48   SCENE

	Okona becomes somewhat wary, but still faces Picard
	with no fear or nervousness showing.

					OKONA
			He's from Atlec. I've had
			dealings with some of his family.

					PICARD
			Then perhaps you can explain why
			his spacecraft is prepared to
			attack us unless we give him
			custody of you.

					OKONA
			I can't explain.

					PICARD
			Then tell me why Kushell of the
			planet Straleb is demanding the
			same thing?

					OKONA
			Is he here also?

					PICARD
			And quite adamant. Now answer
			please. What crimes have you
			committed?

					OKONA
			I am not a criminal.

					PICARD
			Why do these men want you?

					OKONA
			I can't say.

					PICARD
			You will say. You're on my ship.

					OKONA
				(serious now)
			It wouldn't be the honorable thing
			to do. I may be many less than
			auspicious things, but I am a
			gentleman. I won't break that
			code.

					PICARD
			They are prepared to attack the
			Enterprise.

  STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT THREE  39.

48   CONTINUED:

					OKONA
				(reacts)
			That would be crazy. They
			wouldn't stand a chance...

					PICARD
			Exactly.
				(studies Okona)
			Then perhaps you could give me
			some reasons as to why I should
			consider destroying these people
			to save you?

49   CLOSER

	For the first time Okona is at a loss for words.

					OKONA
			I can't think of any right now.

					PICARD
			Neither can I.

	Picard turns and exits the Ready Room...

									FADE OUT.

                       END OF ACT THREE                         

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT FOUR   40.

                           ACT FOUR                             

	FADE IN:

50   EXT. SPACE - THE ENTERPRISE (OPTICAL)

	facing the two tiny and less formidable looking ships.
	The Erstwhile still in tow and even smaller.

51   INT. MAIN BRIDGE

	Picard regards Okona, still is in a no-nonsense mood.
	Picard turns back to the Main Viewer

					PICARD
			Put Debin on screen.

52   MAIN VIEWER (OPTICAL)

	The Main Bridge of the Debin craft appears on screen.
	Debin standing there gets right down to business.

					DEBIN
			Have you made your decision yet,
			Captain?

					PICARD
			No. You've made your requests
			but you haven't told me why.

					DEBIN
			It's a personal matter.

					PICARD
			I'm afraid that's not good enough.

	Debin visibly explodes. His rage balloons.

					DEBIN
			Not good enough?? You're forcing
			me to embarrass my family by
			demanding reasons.

	Debin steps off screen for a beat, then returns with
	a young tearful woman named YANAR. She is very
	beautiful and also very pregnant.

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT FOUR   41.

53   INT. MAIN BRIDGE

	All heads turn from the Main Viewer to Okona who
	attempts to look innocent and therefore looks even more
	guilty.

					DEBIN
			It was Okona... He's been bringing
			Yanar gifts, flowers, and even
			poetry for the past five months.
			He took advantage. Then he left
			her like this. I want him.

	Picard feels uncomfortable, but now understands Debin's
	emotions.

					PICARD
			I do sympathize with you. If you
			will allow me just a little more
			time.

					DEBIN
				(not to be put off)
			Why, so you can turn him over to
			Kushell? You do that and I'll
			blow his ship away and Okona with
			it.

54   ON MAIN VIEWER (OPTICAL)

	Kushell suddenly appears on a SPLIT SCREEN and yells
	back at Debin.

					KUSHELL
			You'll be dust before you aim your
			first missile. I have a perfect
			right to Okona. He's a thief.
			He stole the Jewel of Thesia.
			A national heritage.

					DEBIN
				(yelling back)
			A "thing." An "item." My case
			involves the victimization of a
			human form. My daughter.

	Okona steps nearer to Picard and can now obviously be
	seen by the "split screen" characters. They visibly
	react.

					DEBIN
				(continuing)
			That's him!! I'll have him now.

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT FOUR   42.

54   CONTINUED:

					KUSHELL
			He's mine.

					OKONA
			One at a time. Who accuses me
			of stealing?

					KUSHELL
			I do, you thief. Me and my son,
			Benzan. Okona was my son's
			friend. He took advantage of that
			friendship to plunder a national
			treasure.

	Benzan is standing next to his father silently. We
	hear some ad lib yelling in the b.g. as Debin responds
	to Kushell. Picard signals to mute the sound on the
	screen. (Kushell and Debin will continue their silent
	argument.) Picard turns to Okona.

					PICARD
			What do you have to say about that
			Okona?

					OKONA
			Nothing right now. Let them do
			all the talking.

	Picard pauses for a moment. Then interrupts the
	arguing between Debin and Kushell.

					PICARD
			Gentlemen if you please!

	Debin and Kushell quiet down.

					PICARD
				(continuing)
			You will get my decision as soon
			as I can confer with my advisors
			and in the interest of maintaining
			peace I am jamming communications
			between your two ships. Picard
			out.

	Before either of the two fathers can answer the screen
	goes blank. Picard swings from his control chair.

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT FOUR   43.

54   CONTINUED: (2)

					PICARD
			Okona, Doctor, Counselor,
			Lieutenant Worf, Geordi, the
			conference room if you please.
			Have Doctor Pulaski join us...

	The Observation Lounge door slides open and the group
	files in.

55   INT. OBSERVATION LOUNGE

	They take seats around the table. Okona takes the
	opportunity to move to the food slot and concoct a
	healthy snack.

					PULASKI
			Dishonesty, lust, and now hunger.
			You really are extremely basic
			Mister Okona.

					OKONA
			Last meals always taste the best
			and hunger won't make me a better
			person.

					PULASKI
			That's probably true.

					TROI
			Neither one of the allegations
			is considered a capital crime.

					OKONA
			I'll never reach either of those
			planets alive. They have lost
			too much face over these
			incidents.

					PICARD
			And yet it provides the
			possibility of even more violence.

					OKONA
			You're not afraid of those two
			or what they can do to you.

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT FOUR   44.

55   CONTINUED:

					PICARD
			It's what I may have to do to them
			that concerns me. If I turn you
			over to Debin, I will have to deal
			with Kushell. If you go to
			Kushell, I will have Debin to
			administer to. Or perhaps both
			of them would decide to attack
			us. Fatalities could be total.

					OKONA
			I hate to have to be the one to
			say this, but you don't owe me
			anything.

					PICARD
			I'm well aware of that, but it
			doesn't change anything.
				(beat)
			Are you innocent, Thadiun Okona?

	Okona can't resist the glib one liner and the smile.

					OKONA
			Innocent? Absolutely not, Captain
			Picard. I'll make no excuses for
			my lifestyle.
				(beat)
			But I have not committed the
			crimes that I've been accused of
			or any others similar.

	Okona turns to give Troi a questioning look. Troi nods
	to Picard that he's telling the truth.

					PICARD
			Then my predicament is confirmed.

					OKONA
			In that case, Captain, I can't
			make it any easier on you.

					PICARD
				(reacts)
			Apparently you've never been
			concerned about making it easier
			on anyone... There are two men
			out there who do not consider this
			a joke and are willing to face
			death as a matter of honor. They
			should be respected, not laughed
			at.

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT FOUR   45.

55   CONTINUED: (2)

					OKONA
			You seemed to have reached a
			decision about me, Captain.

					PICARD
			Only about what I think you are.
			What to do about it is still a
			problem.

					OKONA
			I'll help you with it.
				(beat)
			Stall Debin and Kushell. Give
			me enough time to get the guidance
			system re-installed and I'll go
			on my own.

					RIKER
			Their ships are bigger and faster
			than yours.

					OKONA
			You'll still be able to warp away
			and I'll take care of myself.

					PULASKI
			How will you get away?

					OKONA
				(smile)
			I'll dazzle them with my
			brilliance and dexterity.

					PICARD
				(beat)
			I don't like it.

					OKONA
			You have very little choice.

					PICARD
				(a few beats)
			I know. It will be impossible
			to stall very long.

					OKONA
			"Just long enough" is all I
			need...

					PULASKI
			What are you going to say to Debin
			and Kushell?

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT FOUR   46.

55   CONTINUED: (3)

					PICARD
				(shrugging)
			Anything I have to.

					OKONA
			Now you're starting to sound like
			me, Captain.

					PICARD
			Heaven forbid.

	Okona holds Picard's look for a beat, nods, turns and
	enters the turbolift... Picard moves to the door to
	the Main bridge. The doors slide open. Picard, Riker
	et al walk through.

56   INT. MAIN BRIDGE

	Picard moves to the command chair; Riker next to him.
	Picard takes a breath.

					PICARD
			Engage Main Viewer.

	Screen -- the spilt screen of Debin and Kushell.

					PICARD
				(continuing)
			Ah, gentlemen... If you'll just
			bear with me, I have a few
			questions.

57   INT. MAIN ENGINEERING

	Geordi and Wesley are still working on the Okona
	mechanism. Okona looks over their shoulders, admires
	it. Okona seems distracted, his mind somewhere else,
	his conversation not up to its usual pace and humor.

					OKONA
			Looks like an excellent job.
			You're quite a craftsman
			Lieutenant La Forge. How soon
			will it be finished?

					GEORDI
			What's the rush? I thought you
			liked it here.

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT FOUR   47.

57   CONTINUED:

					OKONA
			I did. It stopped liking me.
			Time for me to disappear.

					WESLEY
			Where will you go?

					OKONA
			A new place, if I make it.

					WESLEY
			Don't you ever stay anywhere?

	Okona snaps out of his mood a little, eyes Wesley.

					OKONA
			Not for a long time.

					WESLEY
			I know that's the way you want
			to be and it is your choice, but
			I don't understand. You like
			people. Why do you want to be
			alone all the time?

58   ON OKONA

	He keeps his gaze on Wesley as his mind works. Geordi
	interrupts, holds out the new part.

					GEORDI
			It's ready. You should be able
			to install this in less than five
			minutes.

	Okona turns his look to Geordi, nods, but makes no move
	to take the part from him.

					OKONA
			Like you said Geordi, what's the
			rush?
				(moving)
			I have some friends around here.

	Okona moves off. Geordi and Wesley exchange looks.

									FADE OUT.

                        END OF ACT FOUR                         

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT FIVE   48.

                           ACT FIVE                             

	FADE IN:

59   EXT. SPACE - ENTERPRISE (OPTICAL)

	The smaller cargo ship Erstwhile is still in tow. The
	position of the Debin and Kushell vessels, the same...

60   INT. MAIN BRIDGE (OPTICAL)

	All stations are manned. Okona enters from the
	turbolift and waits there as Picard motions to him.
	Picard turns back to the screen.

					PICARD
			One moment please, gentlemen.
			Screen off.

	Picard turns to Okona.

					PICARD
			I've used every pretext I could
			think of. The result is they've
			aimed their full ordinance at us
			and are prepared to attack. I
			can't delay any longer.

					OKONA
			I'm not leaving.

					PICARD
				(reacts)
			We've gone over this before. I
			thought you made a decision.

					OKONA
			Don't worry, I'm not staying
			either.
				(long beat)
			I've decided to surrender myself
			to one of them.

	Reactions around the bridge...

					RIKER
			Which one?

					OKONA
				(laughs)
			Put them on screen and place your
			bets. The odds are two to one...

   STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT FIVE   49.

60   CONTINUED:

	Riker glances over to Picard.

					PICARD
			On screen.

61   MAIN VIEWER - SPLIT SCREEN (INTERCUT AS NEEDED)

	The images of Debin and Yanar on one half, Kushell and
	Benzan on the other.

					KUSHELL
			It took long enough. Now when
			can I have Okona?

					DEBIN
			I registered my complaint before
			you. I have first recourse.

					KUSHELL
			Do not delay your decision again.
			I'm warning you not to do that,
			Captain Picard.

					PICARD
			Yes, both of you are most adept
			at issuing warnings.
				(beat)
			Mister Okona has volunteered to
			deal with this himself.

	Okona steps forward to face the screen and also be seen
	by all parties. Kushell and Debin are animated, Benzan
	and the pregnant girl more subdued, waiting.

					OKONA
			I'll speak my piece before I walk
			to your gallows. As I said before
			I am not a thief. I am also not
			a character of exceptional good
			name and reputation; so, as I
			never chose to become a thief,
			I have never chosen to become a
			father either.
				(long beat)
			Given the choice between the two
			I must say that marriage to the
			beautiful and affectionate Yanar
			is a much more pleasant sentence.
					(MORE)

       STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT FIVE       50.

61   CONTINUED:

					OKONA (Cont'd)
				(pause)
			So my dear Yanar, if you would
			do me the honor of becoming my
			wife I will do everything in my
			power to make our marriage happy
			and fruitful.

	There is a shocked silence on both the Main Bridge and
	the split screen. Varying emotions start to build.

					BENZAN
			No! He can't!

					HUSHELL
			My son is right. Okona will not
			escape me that way.

					BENZAN
			No, that's not what I mean.

					DEBIN
			Send him to me. I'll decide his
			fate.

	Yanar steps to the forefront.

					YANAR
			Why should you decide? Why don't
			I? Since everybody knows Okona
			is the father of this child, why
			should we not allow him to take
			his rightful place?
				(firmly)
			I accept.

					BENZAN
			You can't accept!

					KUSHELL
			That's right. Okona is still a
			thief.

					BENZAN
			No he's not. Nothing was stolen.

					KUSHELL
			The Jewel of Thesia!

					BENZAN
			It was not stolen by my friend
			Okona.

       STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT FIVE       51.

61   CONTINUED: (2)

					KUSHELL
			Then where is it?

					BENZAN
			You could say it was taken into
			"custody" by the rightful heir,
			me.

	Picard looks over at Okona who eyes Benzan with a look
	of pride.

62   VARIOUS CUTS AND ANGLES (OPTICAL)

	as Debin and Kushell gain knowledge of the incidents
	involved in both the theft and pregnancy. Kushell is
	stunned, Debin glad to have it all settled. Benzan
	is making his statement of fact; Yanar, not pleased
	at the way it is all coming down. Okona, trying to
	make them tell the facts; and, Picard, watching the
	scene unravel to Okona's hopeful design and finding
	himself becoming involved in the event and starting
	to appreciate him a little.

					PICARD
				(to Okona)
			Benzan has a certain flair for
			the language that is similar to
			yours.

					OKONA
			A little bit of me might have
			rubbed off on the boy. I didn't
			think he would let me hang.

					PICARD
			You placed great faith in him.

					OKONA
			He's a friend...

	Debin feels the whole thing is settled. He announces.

					KUSHELL
				(to Benzan)
			Why would you steal what would
			eventually become yours?

       STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT FIVE       52.

62   CONTINUED:

					BENZAN
			To present it to Yanar as my vow
			of marriage.
				(beat)
			Yanar is carrying my child.

					KUSHELL
				(stunned)
			Yanar said it was Okona's.

					DEBIN
				(to Yanar)
			You were with both these men?

					YANAR
			No, but that's not what is
			important now. What is important
			is who I marry.

					BENZAN
			You'll marry me.

					YANAR
			Why should I?

					BENZAN
			Because I love you.

					YANAR
			You waited this long to say that?
			You almost allowed Okona to be
			punished, now suddenly you wish
			to marry me?

					BENZAN
			I sent the Jewel of Thesia to you
			with Okona to declare us man and
			wife. The politics of our fathers
			would have been settled later.

					KUSHELL
			So Okona does have the jewel.

					BENZAN
			I ordered him to deliver it!

					YANAR
			And waited a little too long to
			do that also. I won't marry you,
			Benzan.

       STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT FIVE       53.

62   CONTINUED: (2)

					DEBIN
			Then you'll marry Okona.

					YANAR
				(screams)
			I won't marry anyone!

	Okona steps forward to the Main Viewer and speaks
	seriously and with great feeling...

					OKONA
			Don't Yanar. You're angry about
			the embarrassment of all this and
			maybe the timing and approach is
			not the most romantic, but I know
			you love Benzan and I don't want
			to see you throw away that feeling
			because we adults do not know how
			to behave properly.

					YANAR
			If Benzan could speak with the
			same integrity as you do, maybe
			it would be different.

					OKONA
			I carried your messages back and
			forth for almost six months. I
			smuggled each of you into the
			other's homeland. You feel for
			him the same way he feels for you.
				(frustrated beat)
			So for heaven's sake girl, you
			have to marry the boy because I've
			finally run out of words.

					RIKER
			I don't believe that.

					DATA
			It is mathematically possible.

					PICARD
			Okona defies even the science of
			mathematics.

	Okona laughs. Data asks Riker.

					DATA
			Was that funny?

	Riker doesn't answer.

       STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT FIVE       54.

62   CONTINUED: (3)

					YANAR
				(a few beats, then:)
			I do love him.

					PICARD
				(caught up in it)
			Then tell him.

	Okona and the crew look over to Picard who is just as
	surprised at himself.

					YANAR
			I'll marry Benzan. It is his
			child.
				(beat)
			It's our child.

					KUSHELL
				(softer)
			Then I'll have to withdraw my
			charges of theft. By our law
			Benzan must present the jewel to
			his wife.

					BENZAN
			I'll be coming for you shortly
			Yanar. We'll find a new planet
			to live on.

					KUSHELL
			You'll live on Straleb.

					DEBIN
			No! You'll live here!

					PICARD
			Gentlemen, this is a matter to
			be settled between yourselves.
			I have only two words for both
			of you.
				(long beat)
			Picard out.

	Picard signals for the transmission to end and the
	screen goes blank.

63   INT. MAIN BRIDGE

	There is a momentary silence as the crew lets its
	breath out.

       STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT FIVE       55.

63   CONTINUED:

					PICARD
				(to Riker)
			Take over, Will. Mister Okona
			and I are going to drink a toast
			to the newlyweds.

	Okona smiles, nods, moves off with Picard. As they
	pass other members of the crew, various comments can
	be heard.

					TROI
			Weddings bring out emotions in
			me that I never could quite
			understand. I get so sentimental.

					PULASKI
			Perhaps it's the way they drape
			the flowers over the shotgun that
			makes you cry.

					WORF
			We could have destroyed both
			crafts without even using our
			photon torpedoes. They were
			totally vulnerable.

					GEORDI
				(patiently)
			Maybe next time, Worf. Maybe next
			time.

	Data heads past them into the turbolift. The doors
	close behind him.

64   INT. CORRIDOR - OUTSIDE HOLODECK

	Data engages the panel of controls. Guinan is a
	semi-reluctant conspirator.

					DATA
			I wish to reinstate the same
			program.

					GUINAN
				(whisper)
			Maybe with some new material.

	The Holodeck control panel goes through its routine,
	then signals it is ready. The doors open.

       STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT FIVE       56.

65   NEW ANGLE INTO HOLODECK ROOM

	The Comic sitting FREEZE FRAME as Data had left him.
	Data steps inside and the Comic comes to life. Data
	immediately gets down to business.

					DATA
			We will continue.

					THE COMIC
			What, no warm up?

					DATA
			I told a joke.

					THE COMIC
			And?

					DATA
			No one laughed.

					THE COMIC
			No one? Nobody?

					GUINAN
			Me, I'm "no one" and "nobody."
			It wasn't funny.

					DATA
			She said I "killed" the joke.

					THE COMIC
				(beat)
			It's always hard to deal with a
			solo person. You need a crowd.
			Laughter is contagious.

					GUINAN
			A lot of things are contagious.
			Most of them aren't funny either.

					DATA
			Perhaps he is right. An audience
			could be the difference.
				(to Holodeck)
			Holodeck, give me an audience.

66   ON DATA

	He glances over to Guinan for support. She tries to
	give it to him with a weak nod.

       STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT FIVE       57.

67   NEW ANGLE

	A SPOTLIGHT beam glares onto a small stage and the
	Comic steps up for the intro.

68   REVERSE

	There is a small, dark, smoke-filled New York style
	nightclub with various n.d. audience sitting at
	dime-sized tables.

69   ANGLE ON STAGE

	The SPOTLIGHT glares on and the Comic steps onto the
	stage for the intro. Guinan stands off to the side
	at what could be considered the wings.

					THE COMIC
			And now folks from his record
			breaking tour of Straleb and Atlec
			I bring you the funny man of the
			stars, that comet comedian, the
			sensation of the solar system,
			... DATA!

	The Comic backs off the stage to stand next to Guinan
	and a tuxedo garbed (jacket and tie only) Data enters
	into the beam of light with an impassive look on his
	face and a monotone delivery which is accentuated
	occasionally by the off time waving of one or both of
	his arms. He keeps adjusting the bow tie, Rodney
	Dangerfield style.

					DATA
			Good evening ladies and "germs."

	The audience sounds of laughter and applause.

70   AROUND THE HOLODECK NIGHTCLUB - INTERCUT AS NEEDED

	The audience laughs at every move and word. Data
	continues at first confident and then becoming
	puzzled...

					DATA
			You know I come from a town so
			small it had a fraction for a zip
			code.

	Laughter.

       STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT FIVE       58.

70   CONTINUED:

					DATA
				(continuing)
			... It was so small in fact that
			it didn't have a Godfather of
			Crime... it had a Nephew..

	Guinan gives the Comic a whimsical look.

					GUINAN
			You sure you made a living doing
			this?

					DATA
			I was so ugly as a child they hung
			a pork chop around my neck so the
			dog would play with me. Then
			there was the gene bank where they
			crossed a lion and a parrot. They
			weren't sure what they got but
			when it spoke, they listened.

	Data looks around. His voice is almost a whisper now.

					DATA
				(continuing)
			Or the human cannonball that was
			hired and fired in the same night.

71   ON DATA

	He stares down at the audience, still unsure as to what
	they are laughing at. He moves his right hand.

72   THE AUDIENCE

	Bellows out its response.

73   DATA

	Aware now. He lifts his other arm.

74   THE AUDIENCE

	responds with an uproar.

       STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT FIVE       59.

75   DATA

	moves one finger... The response... He realizes now,
	glances over to Guinan who offers him a sympathetic
	look. Then he announces, as he steps off stage:

					DATA
			Holodeck off.

	The stage lights and nightclub disappear. Data and
	Guinan are alone in the Holodeck room. They eye each
	other.

					DATA
				(continuing)
			It was a Holodeck audience. They
			were programmed to laugh at
			anything...

					GUINAN
			Never mind that. Let me tell you
			one about the traveling salesman.

					DATA
			I have heard it...
				(beat)
			I have heard them all.

	Data and Guinan walk out of the Holodeck...

76   INT. MAIN BRIDGE (OPTICAL)

	The full staff is present as they go through the
	procedures of disconnecting Okona's craft from the
	tractor link. Okona is on the Main Viewer.

					RIKER
			Hold the speed, Captain Okona.
			We'll disengage at my command.
				(beat)
			Disengage.

					WESLEY
			Separated.

					OKONA
			I'm under my own power. Thank
			you, Enterprise. Thank you,
			Captain Picard.

					PICARD
			I think it turned out to be "my
			pleasure," Mister Okona.

       STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT FIVE       60.

76   CONTINUED:

					OKONA
			You've got a bizarre sense of
			humor, Captain.

					PICARD
			Stretched to the limit with you,
			but thankfully still present.
			I think I might miss your
			presence, but I would like it to
			remain a fond memory.

					OKONA
			Well put Captain Picard, and
			good-bye sir.

					PICARD
			Good-bye Captain Okona.

					OKONA
			What about you Data? You can say
			good-bye, Data.

	Data is caught unprepared; his computer mind blinks
	in and he responds quickly.

					DATA
			"Good-bye Data."

	First a titter of laughter, then building to a louder
	sound. Data looks around the bridge in pleased
	surprise. He looks towards Picard.

					DATA
			Was I funny?

	Picard smiles at him, nods. Data looks up at the Main
	Viewer.

77   MAIN VIEWER (OPTICAL)

	Okona gives Data the thumbs up sign.

78   EXT. SPACE - ENTERPRISE (OPTICAL)

	as it turns to the stars.

					DATA (O.S.)
			And there is the one about the
			girl in the nudist colony that
			nothing looked good on.

       STAR TREK: "The Outrageous Okona" - 10/4/88 - ACT FIVE       61.

78   CONTINUED:

					RIKER (O.S.)
			Warp speed Captain?

					PICARD (O.S.)
			Please...

	The Enterprise warps out.

									FADE OUT.

                        END OF ACT FIVE                         

                            THE END                             






