Assorted Nifty .Sigs Found In Usenet Newsgroups
Last updated December 8, 1996.
Or sometime thereafter.
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Andrew C. Eppstein, acepps@minerva.cis.yale.edu writes:
> This message has been brought ______
> to you by ANDREW EPPSTEIN. ___.--------'------`---------.____
> _.---'----------------------------------`---.__
> .'___=]===========================================
>,-----------------------..__/.' >--.______ _______.---'
>]====================<==||(__) .' `------'
>`-----------------------`' ----.___--/
> / /---' `/ "The Enterprise saucer section looks
> /_______(______________________/ like... a DOUGHNUT!
> `-------------.--------------.' MMM... doughnuts..."
> \________|_.-' -- Starfleet Adm. Homer J. Simpson
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Susan Collicott, susan@noaapmel.gov writes:
>If you were dirt upon a road, in sultry summer weather,
>I'd be a cloud and rain on you, and we'd make mud together.
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Clair Pritchett, pritcc@vii.com writes:
>"I drank WHAT?????" . . . Socrates
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Steven D. Sybesma, sybesma@netcom.com writes:
>If you love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the
>animating contest of freedom--go from us in peace. We ask not your counsel
>or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit
>lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen!
>-- Samuel Adams
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Richard Ross, richard.ross@bhabbs.com writes:
>*If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
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Charles Arthur, carthur@independent.co.uk writes:
>The posting above is just this .sig's way of propagating itself
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Glenn Barker, gdbarker@islandnet.com writes:
>"Count it the greatest sin to prefer mere existence to honour, and for
>the sake of life to lose the reasons for living" - Juvenal (AD 60 -
>c.130)
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Stewart John Stremler, stremler@rohan.sdsu.edu writes [borrowed .sig]:
>A diagnostic is someone who doesn't
>know whether there are two gods.
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Aaron D. Dunn, drdee@teleport.com writes:
>*** This space for rent, cheap! *****
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Brenda Mobley, bk.mobley@m.cc.utah.edu writes:
>"Never met a flamewar I didn't like."
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Michael Thompson, mthomps@nyc.pipeline.com writes:
>**If the enemy is in range--- so are you.
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? [I lost the source] writes:
>Q: How many Microsoft engineers does Bill need to change a light bulb?
>A: None. He just declares darkness to be an industry standard.
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David Wright, WrightD@rpm2.aes.mb.doe.ca writes:
>What's the last thing to enter a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?
>It's [butt].
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Allen Sanderson, Allen.Sanderson@sophia.inria.fr writes:
>NOTICE: Any person who collects, uses or distributes this electronic
>or postal mail address, or its derviatives for data bases searches or
>mass mailing lists which produce unsoliticed mailings in any form
>consents to pay the above said person 5000.00 US Dollars for each use
>and distribution. Addition or continued use of these addresses in any
>medium to data bases or mailing lists will be considered to be
>contractual agreement to above said conditions. This notice shall in
>no way be construed as a solicitation for mail, electronic or postal.
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rbryan, rbryan@nettap.com writes:
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>What happens if a big asteroid hits the Earth?
>Judging from realistic simulations involving a
>sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we
>can assume it will be pretty bad.
> -- Dave Barry
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Guy M. Saenger, saenger@ti.com writes:
>Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
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Warren Lathe, madda@troi.cc.rochester.edu writes:
>The juvenile seasquirt wanders through the sea searching for a suitable rock or
>coral to cling to and make its home for life. For this task it has a
>rudimentary nervous system. When it finds its spot and takes root, it doesn't
>need its brain anymore so it eats it. It's rather like getting tenure.
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Janis Maria C. C. Cortese, cortese@netcom.com writes:
>I used to be a [witch] and just thought it was my problem. Now, I've learned to
>make it everyone else's problem, too.
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Brian Madsen, bmadsen@tribble.khis.com writes:
>"Where is your code? It fills eternity."
>-- Brigham Young (JD 14:280), prophetically describing software development at
>the company I work for....
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Paul Wake, paul.wake@m.cc.utah.edu writes:
>Not smart enough to have a clever sig.
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Kevin Hayes, hayes@ug.cs.dal.ca writes:
>>A stupid man never learns from his mistakes.
>>A smart man always learns from his mistakes.
>>A wise man learns from other peoples mistakes.
>... and buys a Mac.
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VWBugsRule!, bugger@xmission.com writes:
>"Earth is the cradle of mankind, but man cannot live in the cradle forver"
> -K. Tsiokovsky
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? [I lost the source] writes:
>It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone
>would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
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Brad Morrison, brad@neosoft.com writes:
> "Push to test."
> <click>
> "Release to detonate."
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Denny Miller [I lost the address] writes:
>"Microsoft Windows: Proof that P.T. Barnum was correct."
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Andrei Broder, broder@src.dec.com writes:
>The biggest cause of trouble in the world today is that the stupid people are
>so sure about things and the intelligent folks are so full of doubts.
>-- Bertrand Russell
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J Moschell, 72714.3044@CompuServe.COM writes:
>Those that beat guns into plows will plow for those that don't.
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Kevin, hgcraig@slinknet.com writes:
>*********************************************************
>A much wittier reply came to mind immediately after I clicked the "Send" button.
>***********************************************************
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Brad Hopp, bagger@hebron.connected.com writes:
>Waking up the NSA watchers: SIGINT BALLISTIC TELSAT KGB GRU LIBYA SAM ATTACK
>GRAIL IRA PLASTIQUE KENNEDY SPACE CENTER LUMINOSO TRAINING BGS GRENATWERFER
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Greg Opland, opland@saifr00.ateng.az.honeywell.com writes:
> /|
> \`x.X'
> =(___)=
> U
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David R. Barstis, dbarstis@valkyr.cc.nd.edu writes:
>"The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard."
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Frank Marder, fmarder@sunnyla.cray.com writes:
>"There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We
>don't believe this to be a coincidence." -- Jeremy S. Anderson
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Wolf Tagger, RGTYMOWS@SCIENCE.watstar.uwaterloo.ca writes:
> | : \ | \
> | : `\______|______\________ Some men "live to fly, fly to
> \'_____ \_____\_____ fight, fight to win". Others
> \____/-)_,---------,______________>-- prefer to simply send a SAM
> \ / up their tailpipe.
> | /
> |____/__
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Scot Carpenter carpenter@uh.edu writes:
>"Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully....
>"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain."....
>"I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything."
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Christopher J. Somers, somers@qcktrn.com writes:
>Some of life's most exciting moments |
>are spent near the middle of the |
>food chain rather than on the top. |
>_________Anthropologist_Richard_Nelson_|
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Travis jensen, jensen@lal.cs.utah.edu writes [borrowed .sig]:
>USER, n.:
>"The word computer professionals use when they mean 'idiot'."
>-- Dave Barry
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Eugene N. Miya, eugene@amelia.nas.nasa.gov writes:
>Q: Why do mountain climbers rope themselves together?
>A: Because they can.
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Buzzard, jorge@barefoot.com writes:
> oooo$$$$$$$$$$$$oooo
> oo$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$o
> oo$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$o o$ $$ o$
> o $ oo o$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$o $$ $$ $$o$
> oo $ $ "$ o$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$o $$$o$$o$
> "$$$$$$o$ o$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$o $$$$$$$$
> $$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
> $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ """$$$
> "$$$""""$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ "$$$
> $$$ o$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ "$$$o
> o$$" $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$o
> $$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" "$$$$$$ooooo$$$$o
> o$$$oooo$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ o$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
> $$$$$$$$"$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$""""""""
> """" $$$$ "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" o$$$
> "$$$o """$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"$$" $$$
> $$$o "$$""$$$$$$"""" o$$$
> $$$$o oo o$$$"
> "$$$$o o$$$$$$o"$$$$o o$$$$
> "$$$$$oo ""$$$$o$$$$$o o$$$$""
> ""$$$$$oooo "$$$o$$$$$$$$$"""
> ""$$$$$$$oo $$$$$$$$$$
> """"$$$$$$$$$$$
> $$$$$$$$$$$$
> $$$$$$$$$$"
> "$$$""""
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Kevin Zollinger, zollinge@u.cc.utah.edu writes:
>When I die, I want to peacefully die in my sleep, like my grandfather did, not
>screaming like the passengers in his car did!
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Clayton Cramer, cramer@optilink.dsccc.com writes:
>No matter what other nations may say about the United States, immigration is
>still the sincerest form of flattery.
>"Well, maybe the Holocaust was right *for that culture*." -- a moral relativist
>with whom I work.
>"Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to
>teenage boys." -- P.J. O'Rourke, _Parliament_of_Whores_
>The Aztec contribution to our multicultural feast will be delayed, while the
>main course stops begging for his life.
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Powder Hound, bvwinkle@xmission.com writes:
>"I don't live on the edge, but sometimes I go there to visit."
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Larry Smith, larrys@enemax.zk3.dec.com writes:
>"A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take
>everything you have." -- Barry Goldwater. "Liberty is not the freedom to do
>whatever we want, it is the freedom to do whatever we are able." -- Me.
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Mike Espinosa, maluku@netcom.com writes:
>**************************************
>* "Tourists don't know where they've *
>* been, travelers don't know where *
>* they're going" *
>* paul theroux - the happy isles of *
>* oceania *
>**************************************
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Bryan S, gt0093b@prism.gatech.edu writes:
>* The Earth doesn't revolve around Rush Limbaugh, although he's big enough. *
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Michael Kisor, hiking1@magicpubs.com writes:
>*************************************************************
> "I was gratified to be able to answer promptly,
> and I did. I said I didn't know." -- Mark Twain
>*************************************************************
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Jeffrey Trust, jtrust@csun.edu writes:
>"The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their
>energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves." -John Muir
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Brian Grant, brgrant@aloha.com writes:
> \|/ ____ \|/ Politically incorrect and proud of it.
> @~/ ,. \~@ =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
> /_( \_ / )_\ Brian Grant 1D FB 7B E0 B8 D3 2B 51 E1 89 41 A1 C2 5D D2 64
> \__U_/ brgrant@aloha.com PGP key on server
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Drgonzo@anduin.ocf.llnl.gov writes:
> %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
> "Fear is the darkroom where negatives are developed." Anonymous
> %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
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S Colacino, colacino@herald.usask.ca writes:
>I sit and wait, in a state of grace. I am the black angel of death, God has
>given me this title. I load my gun, kissing each shell. My gun talks to me,
>tells me things; I listen carefully, for my gun is wise. The time of
>purification has come. "Don't [mess] with Mr. Clean."
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Scott Linn, scott@hpcvcem.cv.hp.com writes:
>I don't say we all ought to misbehave, but we ought to look as if we could.
> Orson Welles
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A.J. (Tony) Whelan, awhelan@freenet.npiec.on.ca writes:
> \!!!!!/
> ( ~~~ )
> (-0-0-)
> ---oOOo-(-)-oOOo---
> nifoc
["nifoc" means nude in front of computer]
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Lawrence Kennon, kennon_larry@tandem.com writes:
>-----------------------------------------------------
> "A congressman is a pig. The only way to get his
> snout from the trough is to rap it sharply with
> a stick."
> - Henry Adams
>-----------------------------------------------------
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Darren Stone, stoned@wimsey.com writes:
>| Frisbeetarianism, n.: |
>| The belief that when you die, your soul |
>| goes up on the roof and gets stuck. |
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Charles Hunter, huntercr@expert.cc.purdue.edu writes:
>Society without organized religion is like a crazed psychopath without a loaded
>.45.
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Stephen W. Anderson, s&wa@int&erpath.com writes:
>Please remove ampersands from address to reply. If you don't know what
> an ampersand is you're probably a spambot, and I'd probably just as
> soon not hear from your master in the first place.
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Danny Low, dlow@ppg01.sc.hp.com writes:
>"Question Authority and the Authorities will question You"
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Chuck Ross, ckross@mcs.net writes:
>This opinion is entirely my own unless this box is checked [X]
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Gregory Hill, ghill@bigtime.cs.colorado.edu writes:
>| O___| | |
>| Montani /\ \_ | Sentiment without action |
>| Semper \ \/\_\ | is ruination of the soul. |
>| Liberi U \_ | | -- Edward Abbey |
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Paul Wake, paul.wake@m.cc.utah.edu writes:
>Trivia tidbit--
>Janet Reno is not childless, she has two sons:
>Lon Horiuchi and Timothy McVeigh
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Spencer Weart, sweart@aip.org writes:
>Ph.D. not M.D.
>["I'm a Physics Doctor, not a Money Doctor" -- old insult]
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Perry, perry.farmer@thefarmbbs.com writes [borrowed .sig]:
> T H E F A R M
> ___________________________________________________________
>
> ^. .^ ^. .^ ^. .^ ^. .^ ^. .^ ^. .^ ^. .^ ^. .^ ^. .^ ^. .^
> ( @ ) ( @ ) ( @ ) ( @ ) ( @ ) ( @ ) ( @ ) ( @ ) ( @ ) ( @ )
> ___________________________________________________________
>
> WHERE HOGS GATHER TO PLAY
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Shea Grimm, sheag@oz.net writes:
>On the outskirts of every agony sits some observant fellow who points.
>-- Virginia Woolf
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? [I lost the source] writes:
>When they took the fourth amendment, I was quiet because I didn't deal drugs.
>When they took the sixth amendment, I was quiet because I was innocent.
>When they took the second amendment, I was quiet because I didn't own a gun.
>Now they've taken the first amendment, and I can say nothing about it.
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Brent Schneeman, snowman@rassp.rassp.mot.com writes:
> \|/
> ___.oO___|_ (It's a snowman in the desert next to a saguaro)
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Amber Satterwhite, oiledlamp@aol.com writes:
>Life's tough, pray hard.
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Paul Weiss, cpweiss@netaccess.on.ca writes:
>Quote: "The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe
>is that it has never tried to contact us."
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Jeffrey Harrison, jeffrey.harrison@m.cc.utah.edu writes:
>If you can keep your head about you
>while others about you are losing theirs,
>then perhaps you've misunderstood the situation.
>-- Daniel Keyes Moran
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Matthew Barry, mbarry@u.washington.edu writes:
>It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
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Larry Boynton, lboyton@unicomp.net writes:
>The statement below is true.
>The statement above is false.
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Bob Kaplow, kaplowro@hccompare.com writes:
>"Ideas are more dangerous than guns. We wouldn't let our enemies have guns,
>why should we let them have ideas?" -- Stalin
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Jeremy Tully, tully@pluto.njcc.com writes:
>Customer: "I'm running Windows '95."
>Tech: "Yes."
>Customer: "My computer isn't working now."
>Tech: "Yes, you said that."
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Scot Carpenter, rcte4@menudo.uh.edu writes:
>Polish comes from the cities, wisdom from the desert.
> F.H, Dune
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Steve Jaynes, jaynes@netcom.com writes:
>"Disclaimers?"
>"We ain't got no disclaimers."
>"WE DON'T NEED NO STEENKING DISCLAIMERS!"
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Klaus, klaus@xmission.com@editme.first writes:
>This .sig is in tribute to post parsing, spam generating, software:
>postmaster@127.0.0.1
>80139@janeway.iq-internet.com
>cgn@ix.netcom.com
>clubmail@freestuff4u.com
>ballman@ibm.net
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Chris Morton, cmort@nwohio.com writes:
>*** Gun control, the theory that Black people will be
> better off when only Mark Fuhrman has a gun.
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Don McGregor, mcgredo@crl.com writes:
>USENET posting IQ formula: start at 100 and subtract
>10 pts for every cross-posted newsgroup.
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Ken Janik, janikk@ece.orst.edu writes [borrowed .sig]:
> .:!!:<
> .<!!!!! M:
> .!!!!!!!!!'Mx
> <!!!!!!!!!! MM>
> !!!!!!!!!!!.*$Wk. 's ..u:=+!(::.
> !!!!!!!~!)~!~.~.?#$e.N. .uzd@*#?!:!!!!!!!!
> !!!!!!!:**Mh x/.dNe"$$$MMM ue@$$*#):!!!!!!!!!!!!
> ~!!!~CzW$$k***@*~MMk9$$$UW$$$*?:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> `)d$$$*TleW$$$$EMM$9$$$$$*":!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> u@$"C"b@$$$$$$$$Et$F@$$$*`<!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> @$$Lu$$$$$"""$$"$$$$$$$.!C`.:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~
> ?c"$"d$$$$$ $"M$$$$$$$$":!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!`
> . .d$$i.*$$$$$$$**TCUWWWWWWQ? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~
> $$HHHHHMMM$$$$$NeUCT2eW$IT"`)ICB$$$$@'!!!!!!!!!!!!~`
> "$8MMMMM8$$$$$$$$$$$$**" u@$$$$$*"` ~~!!!!!!!!~`
> .u"$$$$$$$$$$$$$$*#" @$$$$#"
> `#" `""***TICCl` $$*#`
> "7"` @$"
> z~ d*
> :$u .z*
> "***@@@@*""`
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Theo, tasir@sfs-noBS-arch.com writes:
>"This message represents the official view of the voices in my head "
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Dan Poore, nohbody@radparker.com writes:
>Moderation in temper is always a virtue; moderation in principle is
>always a vice. -- Thomas Paine
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Jerry Irvine, 01rocket@gte.net writes:
>"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason
> themselves into" -- Rick Adams, in alt.folklore.urban
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Dave Urbanek, DaveU@fesys.com writes:
>"Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million
> typewriters, and Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare." -- Blair Houghton
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SongSylvan, songsylvan@aol.commybodice writes:
>"To email me, remove my bodice."
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Megs, craigmeg@netins.net writes:
>"The hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who, in a period of moral
> crisis, maintain their neutrality."
> -- Dante.
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Phil.Roberts, phil.roberts2@entyelworld.com writes:
>If winners never quit and quitters never win
>then which idiot came up with the phrase
>"Quit while you're ahead"?
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DC, sws99dsc@met.reading.ac.uk writes:
>"Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice."
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Darin McGrew, mcgrew@stanfordalumni.org writes:
>"Good teachers are costly. Bad teachers cost more." -- Bob Talbert
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>Spectators never win.
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J. Lance Wilkinson, jlw@psulias.psu.edu writes:
>+------"He's dead, Jim. I'll get his tricorder. You take his wallet."-------+
[apologies to DeForest Kelley, 1920-1999]
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Kirk, kirkdarlingnotathome@mindspring.com writes:
>The runner who goes for the bronze
>will lose it to one of the three runners going for the gold.
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mrtriton, mdoty001@rochester.rr.com writes:
>Remember, there are three kinds of mathematicians: Those who can
>count...and those who can't.
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derek huffman, derekh@webtv.net writes:
>"Tolerance is the virtue of those who have no convictions of their
> own." -- unknown
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Kurt Ullman, kurtullman@yahoo.com writes:
>This mail is a natural product. The slight variations in spelling and
>grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to
>be considered flaws or defects.
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J.Lance Wilkinson, Lance.Wilkinson@psu.edu writes:
> /"\
> \ / ASCII RIBBON CAMPAIGN
> X AGAINST HTML MAIL
> / \
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Ric Werme, ewerme@xxxxx.com (change xxxxx to attbi) writes:
>There are 10 kinds of people in the world:
>Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
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Jeff Bolognese, jeff@apollo.gsfc.nasa.gov writes:
* "It's difficult to say what is impossible,
* for the dream of yesterday is the hope of
* today and the reality of tomorrow."
* -- Dr. Robert H. Goddard
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Peter Clay, roktrabt@aol.com writes:
>Surfing? No. Tobogganing on the snow-capped molehills of Usenet.
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